Cycles and Circulations

I have been here before.

I have been here many times before, actually, and I can say with absolutely zero confidence that this time it will be truly enduring. It may well be another instar phase in pursuit of an imago form that is never actually achieved, but there’s just no way of knowing. I certainly hope this time I finally get to stick with it, but my online presence over the years is strewn with personal sites that were the subject of much focus and attention, only to eventually fall off because no one really gave a fuck. Including, eventually, myself.

But Maybe This Time Will Be Different™ as I put out yet another author site with a vintage typewritten, dark academia-adjacent aesthetic. And should this one slip away and succumb to the entropic death of my wandering attention, you better fucking believe the next one to come along is going to be full of washed-out close-ups of typewriters and abundant use of Special Elite, because I love this shit. It’s more than my vibe; it’s my resonance frequency.

Anyhoo, welcome to the inaugural entry for what’s got to be… at least the third time I’ve registered my name as a domain. There have been other pages, other sites over the decades, stretching so far back that I’m not sure I can even remember them all myself. But I have been here the whole time, always writing something at every point along the way. You almost certainly don’t know that I wrote for IGN at the turn of the century. It’s possible you might still remember Superdickery (origin point of “Superman is a Dick”) as it drifts ever further down the Lethe and out of memory. I’m still here, I’m still writing (professionally, even), but I’m not exactly the hot commodity I used to be.

But as much as I like authoring standard operating procedures (and I do legitimately love it), that’s not exactly a thrilling read, is it? All I really want to write are stories, and everything else is just the shit I have to do to support myself in the meantime. I don’t even seek fame or fortune in this; I just want an audience to share stuff with. But to find an audience, I have to put myself out there. Build a brand, do social media, maintain an author site, another full-time job to accompany the multiple other full-time jobs it takes to subsist in the modern world. I am but one author bitching about having to do all the same things that lie before me as they do every other author, truly a differentiating “it” factor if there ever was one.

So that’s what this is, a seed crystal that may at some point yield something a reader finds of worth. And who knows, maybe this time it will have enough traction for me to stick with it. We’ll just have to see.

Because like I said, I have been here before.

–🦄